The Centurion
(He's back, and he means business. Our secret soccer agent Baggiesboy files his report this week from God-knows-where, with his mind on his Beckham and Beckham on his mind. -L)
And then there were five. Yes, after journeying thousands and thousands of miles, giving interviews galore and refining the stump speech countless times, the unstinting campaign to win David Beckham his 100th England cap ended in Paris, France on Wednesday evening. Vive Le Becks! Billy Wright, Bobby Charlton, Bobby Moore and Peter Shilton are the other distinguished members of the England Centurion Club. But none of them stage-managed their triple-digit cap fanfare like the MLS man.
The coronation, of course, came earlier on Sunday. In a metro-sexual moment for the ages, the new Centurion showed Anderson Cooper how to bend the ball 180 on 60 Minutes. Or as The Huffington Post headline so deliciously put it: “Anderson Cooper plays with David Beckham on 60 Minutes.” If it wasn’t yellow-card disturbing enough to watch CNN’s intrepid “anything for ratings” anchor moonlighting on CBS and doing 360s along the goal line to prevent old Goldenballs from scoring on pseudo-free kicks, then there was the tattoo tour. That was a straight red card. In this new era of respecting officialdom dear reader, I’ll brook no arguments on this one. I have nothing against ink. I just don’t want to see it while I’m chomping on my last chocolate Easter bunny.
Apparently the latest Chinese proverb engraved inky prick by inky prick on the Beckham body beautiful translates as: “Death and life have determined appointments. Riches and honor depend upon heaven.” So, there you have it. Gloria Vanderbilt’s silver-haired little lad did point out (while playing with Beckham), that the Englishman has accrued financial riches second only to Tiger Woods among today’s athletes. There has to be a Chinese proverb to put that in perspective, but I remain confused while waiting for Confucian enlightenment.
Lets face it, Brand Beckham is built on the success of a Hollywood movie he had little or no involvement in, not “Woodsian” dominance of the soccer field. Beckham is a fine player who is deserving of his 100 caps. He has carved a permanent niche in soccer history by becoming the game’s first specialist player. He does two things as well as anyone who has ever played the game: provide dangerous crosses from the right wing, and score highlight reel worthy free-kick goals. But he is far from the only one with these powers. Gun to your head: Beckham or Cristiano Ronaldo on your all-time Manchester United XI? Granted memories are short, but I doubt many pundits would pick Beckham.
The Katie Couric replacement-anchor-in-waiting told America on Sunday that “performing under pressure” is what Beckham is all about. Hem… guess no 60 Minutes producers were in Portugal in the summer of 2004. The last England player to perform under pressure was Gary Lineker at the 1990 FIFA World Cup against Cameroon. He also put away his penalty in the semifinal shootout against die Deutsch Nationalmanschaft.
Beckham is not the only member of the England Centurion Club to discover that “soccer is a kick in the grass.” Bobby Moore played for a fistful of dollars with the San Antonio Thunder and the Seattle Sounders in the old NASL. The World Cup-winning captain didn’t generate anything remotely close to the Beckham publicity or dollar grosses (or get to play with Anderson Cooper for that matter). And while Beckham’s desire to win 100 caps for England is all about football glory, his American sojourn still looks too much like a money grab. I’m sure no one at MLS HQ was too thrilled to hear Super Cooper announce that Beckham had come to America to play for a “little known soccer team called the LA Galaxy.” Ouch! Of course, while that little known 2-time MLS Cup winner is preparing for the new season (the Galaxy kick off in Colorado this Saturday night), its multi-million dollar man was taking time out from the Home Depot Center locker-room banter he claims to love so much to head to the City of Light. (Last week, he jetted to New York in the middle of the week to present an award to Pelé at the FC Harlem fundraiser.)
Number 23 might have a clause that allows him first dibs on a new MLS franchise, but its time he starting taking care of business with the team that he already runs. I’ve no doubt that 19Entertainment are already planning the knighthood campaign. But there is an MLS campaign at hand, and if Beckham wants to cap his career with more than numbers and dollars then he should emulate his uncoordinated 60 Minutes training partner and start giving MLS and the Galaxy the full 360 treatment for 365, 24/7.
And then there were five. Yes, after journeying thousands and thousands of miles, giving interviews galore and refining the stump speech countless times, the unstinting campaign to win David Beckham his 100th England cap ended in Paris, France on Wednesday evening. Vive Le Becks! Billy Wright, Bobby Charlton, Bobby Moore and Peter Shilton are the other distinguished members of the England Centurion Club. But none of them stage-managed their triple-digit cap fanfare like the MLS man.
The coronation, of course, came earlier on Sunday. In a metro-sexual moment for the ages, the new Centurion showed Anderson Cooper how to bend the ball 180 on 60 Minutes. Or as The Huffington Post headline so deliciously put it: “Anderson Cooper plays with David Beckham on 60 Minutes.” If it wasn’t yellow-card disturbing enough to watch CNN’s intrepid “anything for ratings” anchor moonlighting on CBS and doing 360s along the goal line to prevent old Goldenballs from scoring on pseudo-free kicks, then there was the tattoo tour. That was a straight red card. In this new era of respecting officialdom dear reader, I’ll brook no arguments on this one. I have nothing against ink. I just don’t want to see it while I’m chomping on my last chocolate Easter bunny.
Apparently the latest Chinese proverb engraved inky prick by inky prick on the Beckham body beautiful translates as: “Death and life have determined appointments. Riches and honor depend upon heaven.” So, there you have it. Gloria Vanderbilt’s silver-haired little lad did point out (while playing with Beckham), that the Englishman has accrued financial riches second only to Tiger Woods among today’s athletes. There has to be a Chinese proverb to put that in perspective, but I remain confused while waiting for Confucian enlightenment.
Lets face it, Brand Beckham is built on the success of a Hollywood movie he had little or no involvement in, not “Woodsian” dominance of the soccer field. Beckham is a fine player who is deserving of his 100 caps. He has carved a permanent niche in soccer history by becoming the game’s first specialist player. He does two things as well as anyone who has ever played the game: provide dangerous crosses from the right wing, and score highlight reel worthy free-kick goals. But he is far from the only one with these powers. Gun to your head: Beckham or Cristiano Ronaldo on your all-time Manchester United XI? Granted memories are short, but I doubt many pundits would pick Beckham.
The Katie Couric replacement-anchor-in-waiting told America on Sunday that “performing under pressure” is what Beckham is all about. Hem… guess no 60 Minutes producers were in Portugal in the summer of 2004. The last England player to perform under pressure was Gary Lineker at the 1990 FIFA World Cup against Cameroon. He also put away his penalty in the semifinal shootout against die Deutsch Nationalmanschaft.
Beckham is not the only member of the England Centurion Club to discover that “soccer is a kick in the grass.” Bobby Moore played for a fistful of dollars with the San Antonio Thunder and the Seattle Sounders in the old NASL. The World Cup-winning captain didn’t generate anything remotely close to the Beckham publicity or dollar grosses (or get to play with Anderson Cooper for that matter). And while Beckham’s desire to win 100 caps for England is all about football glory, his American sojourn still looks too much like a money grab. I’m sure no one at MLS HQ was too thrilled to hear Super Cooper announce that Beckham had come to America to play for a “little known soccer team called the LA Galaxy.” Ouch! Of course, while that little known 2-time MLS Cup winner is preparing for the new season (the Galaxy kick off in Colorado this Saturday night), its multi-million dollar man was taking time out from the Home Depot Center locker-room banter he claims to love so much to head to the City of Light. (Last week, he jetted to New York in the middle of the week to present an award to Pelé at the FC Harlem fundraiser.)
Number 23 might have a clause that allows him first dibs on a new MLS franchise, but its time he starting taking care of business with the team that he already runs. I’ve no doubt that 19Entertainment are already planning the knighthood campaign. But there is an MLS campaign at hand, and if Beckham wants to cap his career with more than numbers and dollars then he should emulate his uncoordinated 60 Minutes training partner and start giving MLS and the Galaxy the full 360 treatment for 365, 24/7.
posted by Large at 4:58 PM
6 Comments:
i know 2 things about soccer and i learned both of them from no mas.
To quote George Best:
"He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's all right."
There's this famous Becks line that always cracks me up - some reporter said to him, "you know many people have said that you're a very enigmatic player" to which Becks replied, "that's ridiculous... I can play on the right or the left."
My favorites from him:
(about playing in an empty stadium)
Reporter: Was it surreal?
Becks: No, it was very strange.
(about Wayne Rooney losing the youngest-ever to score in the Euro Championships to Jonathan Vonlathen)
Becks: I think it'll just give him the motivation to go out and take that record back.
a guy a friend of mine knows, was filming something on him, took a chopper ride with him to beckingham palace, walked down the path to the giant glass entrance where up on podiums left and right are the shakespeare in love chairs they used for their wedding. Above the chair on the left is a giant V and above the chair on the right a giant D.
Guy says haha VD geddit? and becks replies (in chipmunk voice) yeah Victoria and David. Guy then says, nah, like VD you know?? and becks says No, Victoria and David!!
guy shakes head.
large you got any thoughts on this new swimsuit that seems to be breaking records all by itself?
Mr B, great article once more.
On your question about who would we choose between Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo, werll I have to go for Beckham any day of the week. Cristiano Ronaldo needed to step up twice in his career so far: Semi final of the 2006 WC against France and then semi-finals of the 2007 Champions League. Both times, he choked. Beckham won a Champions League with Manchester in a team that was alot less technically gifted post for post. Now maybe they'll win this year but CR to me is still a dancer.
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